Dream Stream - Love, Rejection and Panic
The most strange nightmare befell me last night. It began with a greeting, I met a person I knew in the real world, and smiled. He was a guy I knew from university, a friend. We greeted each other and began to hang out, talking, joking around, getting along really well. We spent a lot of time together. It was going so well, too well. He looked at me and confessed that he wanted to talk to me, I felt the dread grow within me. In his car, he took me to the top of a green hill, stopped the engine, and turned to me. In order to spare him the time and dignity, I blurted out how I see him as a really good friend, making it clear that his feelings of love towards me were one-sided. He was about to confess his love and I rejected him. Sensing his devastation, I swiftly left the car, and decided to leave the flat.
As I searched for my way out, not knowing where I was going, blindly walking through the maze of corridors, I took a wrong turn, interrupting a large gathering of other students. Immediately they realised that I was not one of them, that I was not supposed to be where I was, a trespasser? They smelt blood!
Knowing that I couldn’t convince them that I had entered with someone, that I was not a trespasser or thief, and knowing that I couldn’t go back to the guy, for I had just rejected him, I panicked and RAN!
That’s when I woke up. Decode and analyse this all you wish. I’m just glad I had an exciting dream, worthy of blogging about!
In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle..
Honestly? I wish I could fast forward time. Everything I do in my day to day life, as in my present presence, it’s all just an investment into my future. And I don’t mind, I mean why would I, if the future were guaranteed..
Life is like a random series of events, all combined together with the single unifying force, you. Without you, your soul spirit and essence, all of life and it’s events would be meaningless. The random events that happen, they have no meaning, all they are in the realest forms are just the product of probability. An earthquake in Japan? Irrelevant, until you place humans on the land. Then it becomes a natural disaster. Earthquakes happen several hundred times A DAY. But only when an earthquake interferes with our life, does it become a disaster.
Maybe we need to realise, that life is not something that we exist in, life exists because of us, we distort the field of reality giving meaning to insignificant events, when in reality they are just the product of mere probability.
Consider this, you’re in a calm forest, as you walk slowly you silently admire the sights and sounds of the wildlife, listening to the hum of natures sounds, when suddenly a mighty tree screeches, groans and falls. Why does it fall? you ask yourself, once you realise your safety remains unaffected. The soft thud of a mighty tree hitting the ground commands silence. You pause. Moments later the gentle hum of forest wildlife continues once more, as if not a thing had changed. Only it had, there was a vast tree laying on the ground at the mercy of all other creatures, where once more it had stood so proud, commanding the skies so proudly. Why did this tree fall? There was no huge commotion prior to it’s demise, and only one tree out of the many had fallen. There is no explanation for the improbable event. It is only when you study the tree more carefully that you realise all the ailments that could have befallen it. Was it an accumulation of a life battered by strong winds, perhaps it was due to a weak trunk softened by moss, fungus and bacteria. “Or could the animals in the forest be a culprit?” you ask, noticing a series of animals leering towards the befallen tree with curiosity. Or maybe it had rained, rained so heavily that it weakened it’s soil, or lightning could have struck damaging it’s roots.. They are all in themselves small incidents, none of which very likely to happen to a scale large enough to bring down a tree, but there it was laying calmly only steps away from your feet.
In reality, it was probably an accumulation of these small-scale events that, although insignificant and mundane on it’s own, when combined strengthened and astonishingly toppled even the mightiest of trees. Perhaps what we see as large singular events, however improbable, are just the by-product of smaller more probable events, which are in themselves construed of a series of smaller events more probable events. What we see in life, are the big events, the massive earthquakes, the life-killing Tsunamis, but how often do we analyse reality for what it truly is, and recognise it as the accumulation of many small probable events, which can often lead to mighty and improbable things.
A seemingly strong tree, standing mighty and proud in the midst of a forest, can one day topple as frailly as a cobweb blown away in the wind. Life is meaningless, until we give it meaning. We are the meaning of it all. All these events that happen around us are just improbable events caused by the accumulation of tiny probable events. All these events, mean nothing without you.
OMG Blonde Asian!
"Beauty is what beauty does"
So I was reading my friends blog, where she posted a photo of herself with blonde hair. She's Chinese, so blonde hair should look terrible, right?!
Looking at her picture, the only word that I could think of was..stunning! She looked truly amazing, and I wasn't the only one who thought so!
"This can't be right?" I hear you ask, "surely any asian with blonde hair should look terrible, just like in the photo above!". You could be forgiven for thinking so, after all society has it's way of dictating to us what it believes beauty is.
According to western society, "beauty is blonde; but only if you're Scandinavian or Caucasian", otherwise we're trained to believe "Ew, non-Caucasian blonde! *points fingers*".
But looking at my friends picture, and those of other asians who go blonde, sometimes I'm left staring at the computer screen, stunned!
My initial reaction to someone that is Indian, Chinese or any other asian should be "Ew, blonde hair would never look good!", and many times I've heard people say that out-loud, thinking what they're saying is true! So stupid!
However, these people aren't really to blame, are they? After all, they've likely only ever met one asian with blonde hair in their entire life, and my bet is that the shade of blonde they had chosen didn't suit them at all. Did not suit them at all..(echo)..
Sometimes people find themselves judging everybody from one experience, but is this stereotype fair, does it hold any water?
I believe that society want's to convince us that blonde hair should only suit fair-skinned, pale-eyed Scandinavians. Or just caucasians at the very most. Everyone else with attempting blonde hair should look ugly/trashy/insecure, but.. this is not so!
And to prove my point defiantly I have included an array of photographs for your viewing pleasure. These people have three things in common, they are all asian, all beautiful, and all blonde!
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| A Malaysian blonde beauty. |
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| Beautiful blonde asian girl. |
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| Male Korean model. |
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| Beautiful Iranian singer. |
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Miura Haruma, famous Japanese actor.
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| Blonde asian musician. |
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| Mixed heritage girl from New Zealand and India. |
There's even a whole forum dedicated to people who stun us with their lovely blonde asian locks. So before we jump to the conclusion that blonde and asians don't mix, keep these images in mind!
Burn the Path!
"Gentle musings"
My life is at a cross-roads, if I close my eyes, I can see myself in the future, living the life that I want. But will I ever reach there? What if I make a decision that destroys the path I wish to take, and should I be worried? Or perhaps there are many paths that reach the same destination, it's just what you pass that changes, like sign-posts on a road and passing scenery. Maybe one path will lead you through the heavy snow, and another will find you toiling the hot dessert heat, but ultimately, the oasis you reach is one and the same. The only thing that changes is YOU.
Perhaps that the choices you make in life only affect the path you take, but your destiny remains written.
Maybe it doesn't matter how you do it, just as long as you get there in the end. Whatever path you take will just make you stronger in it's own way, maybe you're battling through a wall of cactuses or ploughing through three-foot snow, or swimming through a stormy river, maybe no matter which route we take, we will ultimately be striving towards the same light, reaching for the same goal. It's possible that we might fall on the way, but as long as we keep striving, we will always have hope and a purpose in life.
Drifting Mind
"A snapshot of my mind"
Everyone around me has someone, I don't mean to be so sensitive, but that makes me feel lonely. It's as if everyone either has a partner, or is pursuing somebody.
But what about me?
But what about me?
I don't really date, probably because I've never met anyone that I would want to. I don't know.
It all seems really confusing.
It all seems really confusing.
I'm more sensitive than I give off, let me tell you that straight. If someone says something near me, I might not react, but my mind is absorbing everything like a sponge does with water. Which is why I hate hate hate negative people, which is quite unlucky, considering who I live with.
*sigh*
I don't know what I want, I'm just feeling, and trying to understand my feelings.
My mind is summarised best by the following symbols:
"….?……?…"
Peace and love to you all.★
Murky Thoughts
"Snapshot of my mind."
I've reached an emotional breaking point today. I'm trying to get through it but I can't, and never will. No one understands, and I don't expect them to. Life is like a riddle with no answers. I wan't to believe there's a purpose to it all, but the deeper I search the more I find despair. A broken soul can never be repaired. Time is a paradox, for every blessing there's a curse. It's the universal law, Yin for every Yang. Black and White, Love and Hate and a Night for every Day. Only, my life doesn't work that way. It only heals just break around me. Life isn't fair, nor is it balanced. That's why humans plead for heaven and hell, or some sort of redistribution, balancing the injustice that is reality. What's there to live for, if tomorrow will never come.
Worlds and Worries
"Snapshot of my mind"
I'm far too confused about life, when I feel comfortable living in my world something happens, bring my attention back down to reality. I live in my head.
When I spend time with different people, I feel as if I've ventured into their world, so strange and alien to mine. It shakes me. It makes me wonder about the direction of my life, and question whether what I value and prize so dearly about myself and my self-created world, is actually truly inadequate. I find myself asking, how do people know how they want their lives to be? What must I do, to know for sure, that this is how I should live.
When I spend time with different people, I feel as if I've ventured into their world, so strange and alien to mine. It shakes me. It makes me wonder about the direction of my life, and question whether what I value and prize so dearly about myself and my self-created world, is actually truly inadequate. I find myself asking, how do people know how they want their lives to be? What must I do, to know for sure, that this is how I should live.
If only I knew, I would design my universe around it, moulding it around the answer. I don't want to be just complacent, living my life as a shadow in a world of shadows, indistinguishable from everyone else. That's all I know for sure.
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